content.

con·tent[kuhn-tent] –adjective
1.satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

As we got ready for bed the other night, I looked over at Bear and made this statement, "I'm really content right now." It was the first time in a while that I actually feel "fine" with everything. Life. Stuff. Situations. Just everything. I don't feel that I've settled or failed because things are on hold or different than I planned, I feel content.

As the days have past since that bold declaration, I feel so grateful to be at that place in life. I think that most of my life I have put this pressure on myself that if you are content, then you are stagnant, or not striving for that next big step. I've been afraid to stop and enjoy the moment, and allow myself to enjoy being content, because I have created this false idea in my little head that contentment equals lazy or falling behind, like the world is going to pass me by while I am standing by the road being content.

1 Timothy 6:6 says, "True religion with contentment is great wealth." I love this scripture because you get to insert your own meaning into great wealth. For me right now, great wealth is joy, peace, amazing relationships, sacred moments with maddy, an incredible bond with my best friend and husband... When you're not content, you seem to miss out on these, and they are so priceless.

There is a song by Addison Road called "What do I know of Holy?" I find myself listening to it over and over right now. The last part of the song says:

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

I can't help but pray, "Lord, I am very grateful for the contentment you have given me. For the understanding you have shown me in that delays are a gift, that you still answer prayer, and that there is still a great plan in my life ahead that needs to be prepared for. But Lord, I hope to never become content in our relationship because what do I know of Holy? I want to grow to know You more everyday. Your holiness. Your ever-lasting love. Your voice."

I hope that as spring comes we can all find true contentment and grow in our relationships with Him. Consider this, whatever misfortune you find in your life right now, someone always has it worse than you--always.

Enjoy happiness. Treasure joy. Be content.
jill

It won't be like this for long.

Photo by Jennifer Jacobson Photography

We're at that stage where she (Maddy) just never stops talking.

Ever. There is never a quiet or dull moment when she is around.

Here are a few of our recent conversations...

Me: "Maddy its snowing outside!! Hurry!"
Open the door and walk outside. Maddy looks down at her shirt as the snowflakes begin to gather on her sleeve.
Maddy: "WASH IT OFF!!"
And back inside we went.

Me: "Maddy can you count the cars as we go by?"
Maddy: "One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seben, Eight, Night, Ten, Eleben"
First off, I have no idea where she learned to count! Secondly, we might need to work on her "v" sound.

As we are driving to church she yells, "IT'S TRYING TO GET ME!"
Me: "What is trying to get you???"
Maddy: "MY DRESS IS TRYING TO GET ME!"

Anytime you ask her to do anything that she remotely is not interested in, you will get this answer: "Maybe later."

At her 2 year check up:
Maddy: (crying) "I ready to go, I ready to go. No Doctor..."
Doctor: "Hey Maddy. It's okay. I'm just going to listen to your back with this stethoscope. Can you say stethoscope?"
Maddy: "Steth-scope. I ready to go. No Doctor..."
Doctor: "Welllll, I guess you can."

I had a horrible headache yesterday, thank you Texas for your extremely high pollen count, but Maddy really wanted to go play outside for a little bit.
Me: "Maddy, Momma has a headache. Will you pray for me?"
She climbs off of her slide, walks over to where I'm sitting, and puts her hand on my head.
Maddy: "Heal Momma's head, make the ache go away. Aaaaamen!"



The thing I hate most, is that there are 10 trillion moments just like these that I never want to forget, but how in the world can you remember them all? And the thing that I hate even more than that, is that its not going to be like this for long...




Please enjoy this very depressing moment with me, and thank you Darius Rucker for writing this song. It absolutely describes every feeling, emotion, or word I could use to describe where I am with Madeline Presley.

Maddy, thank you for being such a complete jabberwocky. Thank you for singing Itsy Bitsy Spider, Old McDonald, The Barney Theme Song, The Elmo Theme Song, and Five Little Ducks to me at least 100 times each day. I love how you can make me smile in an instant by asking, "I hold you?" or "Thank you very much!" You're vocabulary, although I am not sure where half of it comes from, has been such a gift and joy to hear. I love you, and please try to grow slower.

love,
momma.

Laminin

Colossians 1:16-17 (New International Version)

¹⁶For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. ¹⁷He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

coffee talk.

I recently read a devotional that talked about how in the Old Testament, what they saw as the Ark of the Covenant, would be what we call today a coffee table. At first I was shocked at how the author could write that way, to demote "The Ark" down to the level of a coffee table. BUT she went on to explain...

"In that room were a gold incense altar and a wooden chest called the Ark of the Covenant, which was covered with gold on all sides. Inside the Ark were a gold jar containing manna, Aaron's staff that sprouted leaves, and the stone tablets of the covenant." Hebrews 9:4 (NLT)

The Ark wasn't just for worship, but it was a place of remembrance. It contained all the beautiful reminders of God's faithfulness in their lives. It symbolized His providing hand, His guidance, His love for us through His law, His miraculous nature, and on and on. The thing I love most about this small scripture is that these components inside the Ark meant something unique and different to each person, much like our coffee tables at home where we try to display "conversation worthy" pieces.

On this rainy Monday, I'm drawn to my heart's coffee table. As I browse through all the trinkets and picture frames I am reminded of His faithfulness, provision, never-ending love, and beautiful reminders that God has allowed for me to hold onto when the days are dark and rainy.

Today my coffee table holds:

• A beautiful picture of my best friend and her fiancee at their surprise engagement party last week, a reminder of true love and God's plan for each of our lives.
• A diploma that I could have never paid for by myself or received with out my amazing mother. And now as the economy is tough for a lot of people, we do not have to worry about a huge loan payment every month, only because she took the time to invest in me... And one day, I will do the same for my children.
  
• A pink pacifier. Yes, we know she is probably to old for it, but at the same time we are so thankful for this opportunity to learn to be good parents, to pray with a sweet and innocent little girl every day, and to give in when she still wants to cuddle on your lap and asks for her "paci".
• Two Denny's coffee mugs. (No, we did not steal them, we actually own them.) Some of my favorite moments are drinking coffee with my best friend and incredible husband. During these conversations we laugh, negotiate, debate, make life decisions, and enjoy the moment together.
• A testimony given two weeks ago at my home church that spoke directly to what I had been dealing with. Here I thought God had forgotten or maybe He had to many other things to deal with, but He took the time to send a simple and beautiful reminder through the testimony of a man that had no idea what I had been going through or how much I needed to hear God say, "I still hear ALL of your prayers."
  

What's on your heart's coffee table today?

I hope you have a wonderful, rainy, memorable Monday...

love,
jill