content.

con·tent[kuhn-tent] –adjective
1.satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

As we got ready for bed the other night, I looked over at Bear and made this statement, "I'm really content right now." It was the first time in a while that I actually feel "fine" with everything. Life. Stuff. Situations. Just everything. I don't feel that I've settled or failed because things are on hold or different than I planned, I feel content.

As the days have past since that bold declaration, I feel so grateful to be at that place in life. I think that most of my life I have put this pressure on myself that if you are content, then you are stagnant, or not striving for that next big step. I've been afraid to stop and enjoy the moment, and allow myself to enjoy being content, because I have created this false idea in my little head that contentment equals lazy or falling behind, like the world is going to pass me by while I am standing by the road being content.

1 Timothy 6:6 says, "True religion with contentment is great wealth." I love this scripture because you get to insert your own meaning into great wealth. For me right now, great wealth is joy, peace, amazing relationships, sacred moments with maddy, an incredible bond with my best friend and husband... When you're not content, you seem to miss out on these, and they are so priceless.

There is a song by Addison Road called "What do I know of Holy?" I find myself listening to it over and over right now. The last part of the song says:

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

I can't help but pray, "Lord, I am very grateful for the contentment you have given me. For the understanding you have shown me in that delays are a gift, that you still answer prayer, and that there is still a great plan in my life ahead that needs to be prepared for. But Lord, I hope to never become content in our relationship because what do I know of Holy? I want to grow to know You more everyday. Your holiness. Your ever-lasting love. Your voice."

I hope that as spring comes we can all find true contentment and grow in our relationships with Him. Consider this, whatever misfortune you find in your life right now, someone always has it worse than you--always.

Enjoy happiness. Treasure joy. Be content.
jill